To-day, many priests are in transition.
As a married priest, with a pastoral and clinical background, I offer a perspective to those who are struggling with a major change in life, either to leave full time ministry or transition back to ministry.
A support group for this group is a helpful tool.
Contact me if such a support group interests you!
Why Priests Leave
Although no longer in sanctioned priestly ministry, many priests who leave are still involved in ministerial activity, whether in Catholicism, another church or elsewhere. The depth of dedication and commitment to social justice and other charitable work continues, but in different ways. For most, there is sadness in leaving, because of the joy and fulfillment they found in priestly ministry. What compelled most of them to leave was not ministry, but the inability and lack of freedom to live their personal lives in a manner in which they felt called by God.
When associating with transitioned priests, one quickly sees the tremendous talent and kindness of these men. If you didn’t know they were ordained priests, you would have guessed they were, or are, in some sort of ministry for pastoral depth and gentleness seeps from their demeanor.
Priests who leave are often both pushed and pulled out. They are pushed out by the lack of collegiality, the inability to make important choices about their personal lives, or by rigid dogma and ecclesiastical laws that, in conscience, are no longer credible. Many are pulled out by the love of another person with whom they wish to pursue a relationship in the light outside the shadows of mandatory celibacy.
A Theology That Allows a Priest Leave
The first thing necessary for leaving the priesthood is for the priest to have theology that allows him to leave. Central to this theology is the realization that God’s presence and activity are not confined to the Roman Catholic Church and even Vatican II acknowledges this. Jesus Christ leads priests both in and out of the priesthood. Both journeys are sacred and under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
The Church is not God and it has no divine power. It is an institution with the power to govern the operation of the institution. Christ may be present in the Catholic Church as he is in other churches, So, central to a theology that allows a priest to leave the priesthood is the understanding that the Church has no divine power, only human power.
Choices for Priests in Love
If a priest falls in love, he has choices for his future lifestyle:
The Celibate Way: Keeping his sexual urges under control and unexpressed. He prays that his feelings will stop. He cuts off all contact with the woman. This leaves him lonelier than he was before.
The Marital Way: Marrying the woman. This option demands, in Roman Catholic canon law, leaving priestly ministry, and is usually frightening and unacceptable to his theology. It’s worth stating that this option is the only “sin” that automatically disqualifies a priest.
And that sin only applies to cradle Catholics.
A former Anglican priest who is already married can become a Catholic priest.
The Third Way means that a priest can interact with a woman in a celibate but otherwise intimate way, or even carry on a clandestine sexual relationship while maintaining his role as a priest. As long as nothing becomes openly scandalous (thus possibly diluting the power of the Church), the Third Way allows the priest to “have his cake and eat it too.”